After reading last post, you wonder how we keep things ‘fun’. Or maybe you question whether we even like sport climbing? OR, OR, perhaps you’re offended that we don’t have 100% positive, inspiring things to say about the natural world and activities that allow us to enjoy it? If you fall into these camps, close this tab and navigate to any other outdoor-oriented blog or Instagram on the web. They’ll have what you crave in spades. I promise. For those still with me, I offer the following tips on staying ‘psyched’:
- Go CRAG anyway. “Show up and see what happens.” Sometimes the day turns around. Lots of times it doesn’t. So, you end up doing a painful and exhaustive re-evaluation of your existence and life choices while you hike out via headlamp.
- Drink. Surprise, surprise… As the most aggro partner of CRAGCATION, I drink the most.
- Visit friends. Like Ethan Jayne. In Seattle. Have him show you top breakfast spots like Patty’s Egg Nest. Then eat as much Palaak Paneer as possible. Follow that immediately with rounds of tequila shots at Octopus Bar. Watch Meru. Fall asleep on Ethan’s hardwood floor while watching the Simpsons.
- Have friends visit you. Like Sean Callahan. In Smith Rock. Reintroduce Sean to sport climbing… Sean hadn’t tied in since last October’s trip to the Red River Gorge. Climb 5.10s and make fun of everything.
- Go to Portland. Visit Powell’s Books. Purchase a case of Voodoo Doughnuts. Enjoy the not-so-thinly-veiled innuendo on the boxes. Eat a doughnut before dinner, then a doughnut after dinner. Then drive to Haystack Rock. Jump in the Pacific during late-Sept. The ocean will be cold. You won’t care.
- Go to Canada. Fantasize answering the borderpatrolman’s jejune, “What brings you to Canada?” inquiry with something like, “I’m a fugitive in America and my Thule box is packed to the gills with coke”. Make sure to turn your phone off, or else you’ll rack up $50 in international charges like John did.
- Try trail running. Unless you’re John Shredski, a full lap around Smith Rock State Park will leave you so exhausted, you’ll lack the capacity to give a shit about anything else afterward. (I think this is actually the reason people run regularly).
- See movies. Maybe they’ll be O.K… Like Mission Impossible 5 or the Martian. Or maybe you’ll see something stupid like The Intern, just so you can veg out looking at Anne Hathaway for 121 minutes.
- Read books. Will decided to pick up Proust. In Search of Lost Time is 4,215 pages. That’s a lot of time not thinking about sport climbing.